Yo, RM. Are you there? Are you listening, plugged into the collective consciousness? I thought I’d let you know what’s on my mind recently, since, in the words of the 7-year olds we know, you “took your toys and went home”. We’ll never know why, exactly, you did it.

We’ll each individually dissect our last conversations with you, wondering what we could’ve said, what you needed from us that we failed to deliver.

As we talk to each other and compare notes, we’ll be a little amazed, a little shocked that we all had a piece of the puzzle to your unhappiness and your pain.

We’ll watch out for your family, trying to balance our need to be helpful with their need for privacy.

For a few weeks, at least, maybe longer, we’ll remember the most obvious lessons your sudden demise offers - to live and love freely, to listen a little deeper, to reach out to those around us. You were a great example of that - you were quick to appreciate others, and quicker to acknowledge people around you of all ages, all sizes, all stripes.

We’ll share funny things about you, as a way to keep you alive in our memories. For me that includes the fact that you were the only person on earth I would drink Bud Light with.

Some of us will probably try to conjure you up every now and then. You were an imposing presence in life, and we loved you for it. The hole you leave is large, as well.

We’ll search our personal reaction to your decision to leave for traces of empathy, for less anger and more love, trying not to let resentment win out, at least not for very long.

Less anger, more love.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 7th, 2008 at 11:34 am and is filed under Voices In My Head. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.